Your gay kid

Parenting isn't always easy — especially if your child is lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning (LGBTQ). Ask them if there are particular things they want you to know or understand like what a particular term means to them, personallyor if there are books they want you to read or shows they want you to watch.

Perhaps no one in your immediate circle quite understands what you are going through. Maybe they want to tell the entire family, but they aren't ready for their friends to know; maybe they are comfortable with others knowing, but they feel it's important for them to be the one who conveys the information.

That, however, doesn't mean that they picked up on the same moments that you did or that your observations had a direct correlation to them discovering their identity. There is no way for you to know what your kid is comfortable with if you don't ask, and vice versa.

What's important to know is that your kid went through a very specific journey to get to a place where they felt good coming out to you. To help, Johns Hopkins pediatrician and adolescent. So, allow them that personal journey by asking them how they knew, instead of telling them how you might have!

The combinations here are endless, but the point is: You have to talk to your kid first!

How to Talk to

Beckstrand shares counterintuitive keys for healing relationships and creating deep lasting same-sex bonds. Your kid has likely navigated through a bunch of wonderings themselves as they came to better understand their identity, so the first place you should go with many of your questions is directly to them.

Ask them questions you feel comfortable asking, and then, for the questions either you don't want to ask or they don't want to answer, seek out resources! Don't: Say "I Always Knew. Below are 10 things to keep in mind as you navigate this coming-out journey with your kid!

Do: Talk About Telling Others It's possible that you feel comfortable telling your extended family about your kid's identity, but it's equally possible that your kid isn't quite at that step in their coming-out process. What he’s learned also applies to heterosexuals, married people, singles, men, women, etc.

Chapters include: Beyond Either/or Thinking Is It All about Sex? What’s Good About Attraction to Your. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. Perhaps you are feeling great about the fact that they shared this part of themselves with you, but there's also a chance that you have questions or concerns, or just aren't quite sure what comes next!

In many ways no different from their peers, LGBTQ youth face some unique challenges that parents often feel unprepared to tackle. Forgive yourself for having conflicting feelings, sure, but don't let those immediate concerns overshadow the fact that your kid just told you about a very important part of themselves.

What to Do mdash

A lot of parents feel that they have no one to go to for answers, but the first thing you should know is that you have a great resource right in your home! What do they need to hear?. Do: Ask Questions Your kid's sexuality or gender identity may be your information for you, so it makes complete sense that you would have some questions!

However, don't let those feelings create an environment where you avoid the topic entirely. We turned to experts to learn more about what to say and how to offer support to your LGBTQ+ kid. Ask them how they are doing, tell them that you are working on certain parts of this process, and -- as we will touch on in the next point -- talk with them, in a compassionate manner, about the things that are on your mind.

For many parents, this can be a difficult brain-shift. When an LGBTQ+ child comes out to their parents, how can parents best support their child’s mental health and well-being? You might also feel guilty for not being able to immediately accept your child's identity.

We get it. Saying that you "always knew" can really diminish that journey and can also make them question their appearance and behavior in ways that kid be very harmful. Coming-out moments can be gay, and we all -- parent and kid alike -- wish we could redo some of our initial responses and reactions that go along with those first few stages of the process.

Acknowledge your feelings, but also acknowledge their courage. It's also possible that they want everyone to know, but you don't feel quite prepared for that conversation! National Coming Out Day is October Here are 6 things a parent can do if they think their child is LGBTQ.

Ask them about other kids they know who they can talk to about their questions, and what things are like at their school is there a Gay-Straight Alliance? Know a gay couple that’s floundering? If your child comes out to you, how you react matters.